I really hate when I have to deliver bad news to my readers, but the fact is, I know many of you are in danger of this illness. I personally have been battling against it fairly publicly, and yet I have noticed many of you might even have it worse.

Those of you at standing desks right now might want to sit down.

Some of you ARE in fact social media professionals.

I know, it sounds horrible. And there really is no known cure to date. The best remedy right now, is to become Amish. And even that seems to be slipping as a solution.

So you might be asking yourself “This is horrible, how can I tell if I have it?” Well, luckily, there are some clear signals that you might be afflicted.

These are a few of the warning signs…You might work in social media if… 

1. Your parents keep up with your life through your Twitter feed. 
2. You are actually using Google+. 
3. You have sent a DM to someone sitting within 5 feet of you. 
4. It’s been years since someone mentioned news to you that you haven't heard already. 
5. You verbally hashtag real world conversations. 
6. You are the mayor of something other than your home. 
7. You judge anyone with a hotmail email address as not so hip. 
8. You own a t-shirt or jewelry with your Twitter handle on it. 
9. You look down on anyone that does not own a smartphone. 
10. You get distracted easi… 
11. You secretly judge blackberry owners. 
12. You run into people you have not seen for years and they know everything about your life through Facebook, Twitter and your blog. 
13. You secretly judge QR codes that are on subway ads or in airplane magazines. 
14. You sign up to social networks before there is any desernable value, just to be an early adopter. 
15. You have reached the friend limit on Facebook. 
16. You know that there is a friend limit on Facebook. 
17. Your mom just tells her friends that you work “on the internet” 
18. You checkin to a restaurant before actually speaking to anyone there. 
19. You not so secretly judge anyone following more people than are following them on Twitter. 
20. Your phone is usually face up on the bar or restaurant table when you are out. 
21. Your couch has Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare or Angry Bird pillows. 
22. Your world feels like it’s coming to an end when you get a low battery alert on your smartphone 
23. You take photos thinking about how they will look on Facebook. 
24. You read whatever news you find on Facebook and Twitter. 
25. You are haunted by the Tweetdeck chirping sound. 
26. You secretly judge magazine and TV ads that promote their social profiles poorly. 
27. You secretly hate friends who have more Twitter followers than you. 
28. You have a backup plan for when Twitter goes down. 
29. When you have bad customer service, your first step is to find the company’s Twitter handle. 
30. You complain about how bad Klout is while still signing in to check your score everyday. 
31. Your smartphone is your best friend. 
32. You hate when people use the word “viral.” 
33. You think of @GaryVee every time you see an orange Crush soda. 
34. You read Mashable more than you read the local newspaper. 
35. You know what a bookmarklet is. 
36. You have Google alerts setup for your own name. 
37. You are working on a ‘strategy’ for people to like you. 
38. You love Twitter. 
39. You secretly hate Twitter. 
40. You respect Justin Beiber for his Twitter following and recently learned he plays music too. 
41. You assume someone is talking about social media instead of pending nuptials when they mention the word “engagement”. 
42. You get bored reading news that is longer than 140 characters. 
43. All of the parties and events you go to are from Facebook invites. 
44. Spike Jones has ever made fun of you. 
45. No one in your family is capable of explaining to their friends what exactly it is that you do. 
46. Your significant other asks, “Are you still working, or just tweeting?” 
47. You never ask to redeem Foursquare specials because you hate explaining them to your server. 
48. You think that your friends that are not on Facebook don’t have birthdays. 
49. Your use Pinterest to write your letter to Santa. 
50. You ask your coworkers and friends for a “big favor” — to help Retweet your latest client’s Twitter campaign. 
51. You are fully aware that Auto DMs are what is really wrong with America. 
52. When you completely lose your voice, you use Twitter to ask those sitting with you to “pass the butter, please” #truestory 
53. As much as you say you hate the term you secretly hope that someone calls you a “guru” 

If you have any additions, please add them below in the comments.

Signs That You Work In Social Media

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